‘What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.’ – Lucy

‘A girl must be two things: classy and fabulous.’ – Coco Chanel

Let’s get something straight right now. Unless you turn tricks for money, you are not a whore…although the area can get a little gray if you happen to pay your lover with sexual favors in hope of a Movado watch (or whatever your taste is in fine jewelry or haute couture (and on the seedier side – a rent payment or a trip to the hair salon to get your ‘hair and nails did’)). N-E-Wayz…

Please believe me when I tell you I have no qualms about women ‘getting theirs’. I’m also indifferent when ‘getting theirs’ involves an intricate juggling act of some sort. And, since I have a ‘what’s good for the goose is good for the gander’ mentality, if women want to mirror the male habitat when it comes to ‘relations’, or their current relationship, more power to them.

Unfortunately, some many most men do not share this view or care for women who have had a few – to a lot of – partners. You may be labeled as a whore, a ho or (ahem) run-through. These labels are unfair since men who’ve had multiple partners are known to be ’sowing their oats’ or, as a dashing, young gentleman told me, ‘being grown’. Fair enough. It is what it is.

With that being said, if you still want to ‘handle your business’, there is a set of guidelines a sexually free and active woman should follow. I strongly suggest you abide by them.

Firstly, if you don’t hear anything else, hear this – be discreet. Do everything possible to keep your business off the street. This includes not disclosing your business to your girlfriend(s) – (who knows what she’ll reveal to an envious ear). And speaking of envious, beware of that same BFF turned I-want-your-man who’ll surely try to put a wrench in your promising relationship. You’ll sit there stunned and dumbfounded as all of your ‘indiscretions’ innocently purr from her MAC-stained lips to the virginal ears of your lover’s. You want to tell somebody? Get a journal.

Secondly, never reveal your number if it’s over one. Never. Of course, there’s going to be some foot soldier who will cross-examine you until you crumble under pressure. Always remain cool. Always keep your number in the single digits – the low end. You can always tell him you had a steady boyfriend in high school that continued in college, or was a late bloomer, blah, blah, blah. You get the idea. If you’re above lying, pick your number from obscure categories: 6′4″ and taller, lives in same zipcode, first name begins with Q, U, Y or Z, etc.

Thirdly, never engage in whore-speak: 1) “I’m trying to get my life back together”; 2) “I’ve never done this before” (at any point of an encounter); or 3) initiating and/or engaging in conversations about sex (the worst). Always keep the conversations light. You are poised. You are cultured. You are intelligent and well-read. You are sexy and seductive. And, yes, you are flirtatious…but never (flagrantly) out-of-line.

Fourthly, never dress like a whore. Men have a keen sense of who is a whore and who is not. The first clue that you MIGHT be one is that you dress like the second coming of Lil Kim. Now, I love Lil Kim, but I know better NOT to dress like her. Throw him off his scent. You can push the envelope, but always strive for a ’scandalously elegant’ look (more on that later). Just remember there’s a reason why the best-dressed and cultured women (ahem) ‘marry well’; there are few virgins on Madison Avenue.

Lastly, have your own money. There’s nothing worse than a woman peddling men solely for money, stature, use of their cars or, as I stated before, material and financial gains in exchange for undisguised sexual favors. In these cases, the gray area may no longer be so gray. I’m just saying…